Political Product Labeling Act

or Don’t Talk Behind People’s Backs

sponsored by aGREATER.US • Become a Co-sponsor

primary topic: Liberties (Civil)
secondary topics: Campaign Finance


Americans have the right to free speech, and by extension what products they buy constitute how many people express themselves. When I buy food, I want to know how many carbs, fats, and sugar I will be putting into my body. Moreover, I want to know what ideologies I’m being fed. Shouldn’t I know what words someone is putting into my mouth along with all those delicious nutrients?

If the maker of my favorite brand of cereal donates money to a candidate I would not vote for, then shouldn’t I know that? If the company thinks that highly of a certain party, shouldn’t they proudly display it on the box top? I mean, what’s free speech if there’s no one there to hear it? Didn’t your mother tell you not to talk behind people’s backs?

Hey, what’s good for the grey goose is good for the red gander, and the blue duck. Here’s an existential dilemma: Do I discard my favorite brand of underwear because endorsement of a candidate I dislike is woven into the fabric of my shorts? I had to change my shampoo because we had a falling out over who should be the head of state, which is unfortunate because now all my days are bad hair days. Maybe I should change my mind! I’ve seen the light, and it shines on my cowlick.

If a company gives more money to Democrats, it should have to put a blue dot on its products with the party spelled out (for ADA compliance for color-blind people). If the company favors Republicans, then put on a red dot. Green Party? Duh, a green dot might even help sales. Independent? What do you think of a nice light shade of grey, or maybe purple? The latter is half red and half blue, technically speaking. But maybe purple should be for the far left, or is that a rainbow? We’re running out of colors. There’s orange, but I guess the far right gets that one. Yellow just wouldn’t seem appropriate.

Yellow might be for all those who are too scared to vote or are disenfranchised, because unless you live in a hotly contested Electoral College state, your Presidential vote hardly counts anyway. (Please rate The National Popular Vote Interstate Compact under your state’s tab. If you live in Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Vermont, Washington state or D.C., then you live in one of the cool and brave jurisdictions that believe equal individuals should elect the President, not unequal states.)

If this law passed, most corporations would likely stop making political contributions, because sales and profits and jobs (I like that about our U.S. corporations) are really more important than putting words into people’s mouths, and I simply can’t stand being pooh-poohed by my shampoo.


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